Tubing

I went tubing for the first time last weekend.

For someone who typically doesn’t spend much time outdoors other than for jogging or parkour, I really enjoyed it, but to understand exactly why it’s odd for me to even remotely like tubing, you have to know a couple things:

First of all, I’m not very keen on lakes.

They’re murky deathtraps filled with monsters, killer moss, and who knows what else that’s just sitting on the bottom of the lake, waiting for some pair of unsuspecting legs to dangle into its territory before ripping it to shreds.

Second, I’m just not very water-activity inclined.

I’m a horrible swimmer (childhood asthma really gets to me when I have to breathe in odd rhythms), dislike the taste of salty water, and generally get shoved and kicked around waves like I’m the towelboy at a Laker’s game.

Third is my general disdain towards nature.

I mean, I like seeing nature and hearing nature, as long as there’s a glass shield separating me from it.  Call me spoiled, but I enjoy my A/C far too much to step out into the now ninety-fucking-seven degree weather we’ve been having only to immediately be attacked by some over-sized beetle that feels the need to find my foot, regardless of how much I move it, and try to crawl up my leg as fast as possible. In the meantime, its mosquito and spider friends are trying to piss in my face, and no matter how much I try to get away, that fucking spiderweb is STILL on me 3 hours later.

But anyways, I like tubing.